:: wILL tMr bE A bEtTer dAy? ::

2011-08-18T01:48:00.002+08:00

I'm frustrated that till now ive not achieved much.
I really want to buy that house :(

2011-07-31T01:53:00.001+08:00

I am truely happy :)

2011-06-20T01:29:00.000+08:00

As I look back at the major events that happened in my life,
I can't help but feel an immense relief and happiness that I am where I am now, and I have what/who I have now.
Everything happened for a reason they say.
And that might just be true.
The chain effect every event had, and the absence of any would not have me at where I am now.
There might be regrets or resentments in the past events.
But it was that that made me grow up.
And made me learn a hell lot.
And I'm glad there's a happy ending to all that I've went through.
Everything happened for a reason :)

2011-05-27T01:42:00.000+08:00

I've been blogging in my private blog more often than here.
Not a good sign.

Career has been ok so far this year.
At least till now.
But seeing my bitches and colleagues leaving for Athens affected me a hell lot.
I could only look forward and work towards Athens.

Rumors about what the double zees said about me affected me a great deal.
More than it should be.
I thought they were ridiculous initially.
Then, it created lotsa self doubts.
More so after the incident tonight.

Many of us are stuck in our comfort (danger) zone.
Be it in terms of career, or maintaining the relationships with your friends or family or partners.
Nothing much to elaborate on for career.
We've heard so much about stepping outta said zone and overcoming new challenges yada yada.
But human relationships, it's tacky eh?
No doubt we love to hang around people we can feel at ease with, and we can be ourselves in front of.
And the more we love them, the more we needa put in the effort to maintain these relationships.
Then, comes the irony.
To us selfish beings, being comfy and putting in effort don't quite come together.
I hope I'm making sense.

For matters of the heart, I became aware that I'm allowing myself to be in a vulnerable position again.
I needa pull out and protect myself before it's too late.

I am so incoherent.

Good night, world!

2011-02-12T14:31:00.000+08:00

in office on a saturday cuz baby's in msia.
just finished an appt and waiting for the next.
feels good to be working =)

realised i havent been blogging for ages and thats bad.
i'd have looked back in the future, and forgot most of the things that happened.
so to summarise all...
2010 SUCKED!

the main pillars of my life - career, love, family all failed me.
and the whole year was spent struggling to cope with all.
i guess there was nth much i could have done about my family issues..
could have been more focus and worked harder for my career.
but its tough i must say when i lost my directions in life.
lotsa regrets about how badly i allowed myself to fall when love failed.
kenyliao came into my life and that seemed to be the turning point of the year.

2011 should be a better year..
things seemed to look fine so far.
may this be a great year for me and all tigers! =)

2010-12-19T20:09:00.002+08:00

universal studios and ikea shopping on the 16th
outing at barrage, farmway and clarke quay with colleagues on the 17th.

i love my 24th birthday becuz i have you =)

2010-12-19T20:02:00.000+08:00

i'm moving house!
though its ultra troublesome..with all the sourcing for units and tenants..
i love my new house! =)
hopefully it'll help mom's conditions.....

2010-12-02T22:22:00.002+08:00

sent back to the hospital.
3rd time this year.
wonder how many more times do we have to go through this..
i feel drained.
so helpless.

2010-11-15T16:04:00.002+08:00

i dislike being hated by my mom.
i dislike having to worry about my mom 24/7 even at work.

2010-11-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

i'm stuck at home and bored like helllllll!!!!

2010-10-30T11:17:00.002+08:00

It's amazing how one could treat you like crap.
Yet another could appreciate you just the way you are.
All within a short span of 2months.
Amazed at how drastic my life changed.
From all tears and Misery.
To all laughter and love.

I am glad I met you :)

2010-10-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

everything seemed positive!
like how it always does....

Im happy :)

2010-10-14T01:41:00.001+08:00

And I start to worry.
Becuz the happy times usually don't last...

101010

2010-10-10T12:41:00.001+08:00

1001 worries which I'd never have any solutions or answers to.
Nonetheless, a new chapter begins :)

.

2010-10-08T10:46:00.001+08:00

This is who I was.
The fanny lim I knew.
=)

.

2010-10-06T03:04:00.001+08:00

2010-10-03T16:02:00.001+08:00

i wanna go athens!!! =(

2010-09-26T15:42:00.000+08:00

walking out from whatver sad past memories..
figured somehow that this cannot go on any longer.
it was tough initally..
but it gets easier by the day..
and i get happier by the day..
never would i go back to the days when i just drown myself in sorrows and couldnt seem to escape.
so now i learned.
it takes time.
and lotsa determination..
i havent been this happy for the longest time.

Day 2

2010-09-16T01:42:00.001+08:00

Day 2.

Day 1

2010-09-15T02:51:00.001+08:00

Day 1.

2010-08-28T13:44:00.000+08:00

struggling.

sometimes i wonder...
how else can i make this life more meangingful..less sorrows..more laughter..

i want to break free.

2010-07-13T01:46:00.000+08:00

favourite movie of the year - Despicable Meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! ♥ loves!!

2010-07-09T00:16:00.001+08:00

I AM GOING TO TOKYOOOOOOO!!!! <3

2010-06-27T15:34:00.001+08:00

你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻

我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢

而你断断续续唱着歌假作没事了

时间过了走了爱情面临选择

你冷了倦了我哭了

离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着

有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢

我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了

开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得

你不等了说好的幸福呢

我错了泪干了放手了后悔了

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻

我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了

情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢

而你断断续续唱着歌假作没事了

时间过了走了爱情面临选择

你冷了倦了我哭了

离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着

有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢

我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了

开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得

你不等了说好的幸福呢

我错了泪干了放手了后悔了

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢

我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了

我都还记得

你不等了说好的幸福呢

我错了泪干了放手了后悔了

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

2010-06-02T15:37:00.000+08:00

曲名：SHERO 歌手：S.H.E
作词:五月天阿信作曲:八三夭阿璞

陪自己看烟火陪着自己去兜风
向软弱说分手自己旅行自己梦
喝一罐冰啤酒灌溉久违的酒窝
让笑容回到双颊的粉红

那是谁说女孩没有ROCK'N ROLL
我对我说当最后只剩下我谁是我英雄
看不到找不到等不到你的 HERO
为何不做自己只手撑天的 SHERO
你可以我可以为自己赴汤蹈火的SHERO
像女王挥舞著骄傲披风

先转身先自由先说再见先解脱
世界在他背后原来这麽的辽阔
也坚强也温柔也有紧握的拳头
去敲奏全新生活的节奏

那是谁说女孩没有ROCK'N ROLL
我对我说当最后只剩下我谁是我英雄

看不到找不到等不到你的 HERO
为何不做自己只手撑天的 SHERO
你可以我可以为自己赴汤蹈火的SHERO
像女王挥舞著骄傲披风
在我的编年史中写下了一个传说
要把History 改写成Herstory
在我的回忆录中快乐要蔓延很久
那就今天开始建造我王国
我是女王一般的SHERO

看不到找不到等不到你的 HERO
为何不做自己只手撑天的 SHERO
你可以我可以为自己赴汤蹈火不再退缩
不要了不找了不等了谁要 HERO
站出来做自己只手撑天的 SHERO
你可以我可以为自己赴汤蹈火的SHERO
像女王挥舞著骄傲披风

S-H-E-R-O S-H-E-R-O
S-H-E-R-O S-H-E-R-O

omg!! how apt?!

shero =)

2010-05-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

the things i need to handle now is beyond what i've been through for the past 24 years..
sometimes i wonder how long is this turmoil gonna last or is it ever gonna end..
sometimes i feel avoidance and running away seemed to be a much better choice than to finding solutions..
i wanna run away..not stop carrying the amount of stress and burden like i am now..

mommy's going through a rough patch..
and i'm rushing to and fro the hospital to take care of her..
this crazy rush to find a rented flat to get mommy a whole new environment and never to come back here again..
guiding and teaching a new disciple which involves immense patience and high level of time management skills admist all the shit i'm juggling with now..
and i guess i've put aside my focus on sales for a long enough time..
the relationship i'm caught in now is as good as not having one..
its been a rollercoaster ride..
and i wonder if its worthwhile continuing the ride..
it could just be another worthless ride that make you feel terrible for nothing..
i need a guy who loves me more.

this 2 years hasnt been at all smooth..
last year was relationships and now its family..
i cant seem to be able to stay happy for long..

i wanna run away.

a gentle reminder to all:
have you been spending enough time with your family?

2010-03-31T00:57:00.000+08:00

shitloads of things happened.

weird stuff happened to mommy..
and it drove daddy and i crazy.
lucky we seeked help from the aunties.
hopefully things would eventually turn out fine for her.

i'm glad baby was around for me all this while that i'm trying to cope with everything.
loves!

trip to beijing was great!
first time visiting cold country and i love it!!!
though its damn blardy dirty there..
not just the toilets or the litters on the ground.
but the AIR is daaaamn polluted.
now i know why they keep saying singapore is super clean..
the company was great and i'm truly glad baby was with me =)

when life reaches its lowest point, it can only get better.
staying hopeful.

2010-03-14T15:07:00.000+08:00

when was it exactly that you've stopped loving?
why didnt you warn me about it?
there is absolutely no way we can fix this anymore.
and i supposed this really is the end of it all.

i just want to be happy.
and why is that so difficult?

do you remember.all the good times we had.bring it back.

fix the broken heart, will you?

2010-03-07T19:45:00.001+08:00

life is great.
it has to be.

2010-03-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

going through a rough patch.

mummy slipping into some sort of depression shit.
fyc sucks bigtime.
love is as shitty as ever.

just have to keep smiling....

2010-02-13T15:08:00.000+08:00

managing fading feelings,
managing disappointments.

you've changed.
drastically.
the smile on your face was long gone.
the enthusiasm which you used to have planning for our monthsaries was long gone.

as you get more comfortable with me,
you started showing the real you.
and questions about what are those which i can accept, and which i cannot live with, started surfacing.
all these fancy thoughts about learning to accept came crumbling down as i see you getting nonchalent about us.

then, our very first valentines day together fell through.

is this the end?
the end of it all?

2010-01-08T00:20:00.002+08:00

a post inspired by a colleague of mine.

i found myself a career, which in my own honest opinion, second to none.

i do not have the luxury of many others, who have siblings to shoulder the financial burden of supporting parents in the near future with. and lets not talk about parents' own savings, because we couldnt even afford my uni fees.
and i badly want to change this kinda lifestyle i've been leading for years. with parents saving on every single cent they could. to have never travelled overseas for a long long looooooong time. my mum is even still holding the passport combined with me when i was still a baby. if they havent been living in luxury for the past 60 years of their lives, at the very least i could do that for them for the next 20 years.

mamy would have thought i grew to become more materialistic after i joined this industry. but hey, i make my own money, and i spend them on myself. i worked hard for it. so i dont see anything wrong with that.

i drew out my life plan the other day. and i realised i have a big fat upside to if i were to be in any other normal workplace, ie fixed income job.
i get to plan out what i want to get at what age. specifically my bmw6series in 3 years time, and my very own condo by the age of 30. i calculated how much is required of me, and divide it over the number of years. that is how much i need to earn every month, and i work hard towards that. to achieve what i want in my life. to achieve what i want for my parents. to achieve what i want for my kids. no way am i going to let my kids lead a poor life, or being not even able to give them what they want and the education they deserve.
i figured if i were to be in any other jobs, i'd never be able to do this. i could only calculate how many more years i need to get what i want. the only variable that could possibly happen is just how i perform in my work/por my bosses to fight for a promotion, to climb to a position which many other colleagues are fighting together for. all these do not make any sense. because i should be deciding myself when to get what i want in my 60years (hopefully) of life, and not be limited to how much my bosses think i'm worth.
in summary, i'm lucky i did not join in the rat race blindly like many other singaporeans after i graduated.

you see, it is not like you want car can get car, want condo can get condo. the bank dont just loan money to any random ppl on the streets.
as my colleague puts it:
Without evidence of financial muscle, banks do not give individuals a hint of interest.
the basis of these money suckers' judgement? income/income tax statements.
and all these needs to be build up over the years. i want and i need to build up solid income tax statements to aid in my future buyings. not just cars (aka liabilities) but more for properties (aka assets/investment tools).
these, i learnt from my mentor/director. things which i would never have learn elsewhere.

and of course,
to be able to deliver the cheque to the bereaved family, to ease family off the burden of crazy hospitalisation bills (have you any idea cancer treatment could cost up to$800k?!?!?! i just realised it ytd and i was like wtf?! and if you die before you recover, your family pay the remaining bills for you -.-), or even the less morbid situations like helping clients achieve their financial goals on time. all these satisfaction i can never get working elsewhere.

and how else can i get to shop in town during working hours, never having to squeeze with stupid crowds (90% made up of prc talking in the loudest possible voice and rude pushes); waking up at 10am every morning; hanging out with the most fun bunch of colleagues every afternoon; and chatting up with different ppl every day.

i love my job. and i love my big fat bonus =D

2010-01-03T03:12:00.000+08:00

celebrated xmas with my bunch of crazy colleagues at the boiler..

and of course the xmas baby - ess shit =D

hell lot of fun and yep! more to come! =)

2010-01-02T03:01:00.001+08:00

17th December 2009

day 1 :

checking in to new majestic boutique hotel. fabulous furnishing and design. surprise guests at dblo - ess dam mich joyce.

day 2 :

moving in to another room. totally different concept and design with outdoor bathtub. non-stop bathing. favourite watch for birthday pressie. surprise icecream birthday cake from island creamery. surprise guests - ess choong poon fab.

happy happy birthday to me!
thank you baby for the celebration. the planning must have been crazy tedious, esp sourcing for the hotel and all. most wonderful birthday celebration i've ever had =)

2009-12-16T01:38:00.000+08:00

surprise surprise!!!

4 months gift from baby =)
made the one on the right for him 2 months back..
and he made the same one back for me! lol..
the name in the middle is an ambigram..
ie upright says his name, turn it upside down and it says my name
cool shit eh?
=)

december is like the best month of the entire year!
pretty lightings all over..
everyone is in this festive mood..
xmas parties xmas gift exchanges..
and birthdayyyyyyyyyyy =D

am totally looking forward to tmr!!!

2009-11-22T13:58:00.000+08:00

visited LJW and went to her home to talk about work!!
baby's client..damn cool..
up sides of our job =)

and this.
is just plain cuteness.

2009-11-13T17:06:00.000+08:00

20$ spent!

caught lil' melody from the whole truckload of them =)

<3 loves!!!

2009-11-06T01:15:00.004+08:00

5 stages to grief:
denial
anger
bargaining
depression
acceptance

2009-11-06T00:19:00.001+08:00

hit my annual target already..
gotta aim higher now..
stressed over my new recruit who doesnt seem to bother zzz..

relationship had been a rollercoaster ride..
hoping for a happy ending..

quote from a client which got me rofl:
"they say,
life is a bed of roses.
well, they bluffed!!!"

2009-10-11T14:10:00.000+08:00

day out with the girls!!
for the first time we brought our bfs out =D
jia - angie - ws - kk - zy - me
met up with jia and angie first..
supposed to meet up earlier to get food for picnic..
but i overslept..hehe oops!
picked the girls up from angie's place and then baby from home..
headed down to downtown!
sucky lunch followed by kickass milk tea =)
watched (500) days of summer..
the show was rated 4stars!
storyline was plain..but i love how the whole show was made and produced!
not the usual kinda plain boring romance..
got some snacks and took a walk down the beach..
everyone else went cycling except for meeee!!
ROAR!!! i'm like the only one who cant cycle lor!! =/
and so baby and i rented roller blades.
intention was to teach me blading..LOL!
gruelling process!! ended up falling 34634523 times with blue blacks all over =/
but thanks baby! for wasting time trying to teach me when you could have went ahead and enjoy yourself =(
i feel stupid la! bah!
anyway, after which..we went to eat AGAIN at simpang..
wanted to go metro sale at expo after that..
but realised it hasnt started yet -.-"
and so we parted from there..

happy happy birthday darling weishi!
and we should have more of such outings!
=)

2009-10-09T13:42:00.015+08:00

081009

9am-5pm: cuddling, wrestling, snacking, surf net =)
dinner at chinese seafood restaurant..
chilling at city space..

<3

2009-09-29T16:03:00.002+08:00

less than perfect.

karma.

.

2009-09-27T03:54:00.001+08:00

though the past 3 days had been horrible..
at least it made us understand each other more..
and i'm glad we managed to salvage the situation =)

but today made up for everything!!
parkway giant - east coast park - tentage - bbq

perfect timing for us to spend quiet times together like that =)

2009-09-25T17:33:00.001+08:00

Fucked.
Having 2nd thoughts?

2009-09-17T20:06:00.000+08:00

why even bother arguing over stupid unimportant people?

2009-09-17T03:02:00.001+08:00

♥

2009-09-09T12:59:00.000+08:00

080909
meeting - long john - gforce - neoprints - kuriya - flyers - pasir ris park - bedok.
pure sweetness and simple love.
an just glad and contented to have you as mine =]

2009-08-30T14:27:00.000+08:00

i am sorry for overreacting over such a small issue.
really shouldnt have relate this in anyway to what happened in the past.
trust is such a touchy issue which i still cant really handle..
but i'm glad how we managed to resolve the issue.
sorry though for how i screwed it up initially..
and i'm thankful for how very patient you were for me..
i am glad to have you bb =)

2009-08-26T03:17:00.002+08:00

2009-08-20T03:36:00.001+08:00

i wanna hold you..
till the fear in me subsides..

2009-08-19T17:31:00.001+08:00

.bliss.

2009-08-10T04:52:00.004+08:00

I don't know how..
But there's this crazy mix of emotions..
Excitment and looking forward to how this will turn out..
Contentment and happy to have found someone like you..
Amazed at how fate works its wonders..
And fear of crazy commitment and possibly getting hurt..

2009-08-08T18:49:00.000+08:00

day1.8809.
=D

2009-08-05T03:14:00.003+08:00

day 1 of ...
progressing crazily fast..
and finding myself sinking deeper and deeper.
am not without fears and worries though..
what exactly is holding me back?
what exactly is that lil' voice in my head trying to tell me?

2009-08-02T15:22:00.004+08:00

2009-07-23T21:50:00.000+08:00

the kiss.

2009-07-23T21:46:00.002+08:00

am in lot1 mac now.
been waiting for a prospect for the past 1 hour.
just got a call from him saying he's not coming.
and not going to get any policy from me.
perfect.

i am also human.
please do not treat me like i am not.
i do not owe you a living.

2009-07-13T01:56:00.003+08:00

Major milestone.
bought the first freaking car in my life!!
Brand New Honda Fit 2009 Highway Edition!!
54850

went through a whole bloody tedious process of searching for the right car..
surfing sgcarmart every single day hoping that someone would post a super good deal online..
1 whole freaking month!!
its no joke at all man..

be getting the car by mid aug.
i certainly hope its no scam though..

its got SMART KEY leh!!!!! ^^

http://www.honda.com.sg/cars/jazz_colors_13.htm

2009-07-06T01:19:00.001+08:00

the bloody agonising process of getting a car.
$%#$%@#$@#!

2009-06-19T00:54:00.001+08:00

explored.
and realised its quite sala..
anyway it really is time to concentrate on career.
i need to buy car real real real real soon.
i've became so dependent on the car that i think i'll rather die without it..

hmm met another cute guy today!
lol..
life is great being single and carefree =)

2009-05-31T13:45:00.001+08:00

exploring.
consfued.

2009-05-24T14:29:00.000+08:00

you are such an ass,
you probably dont even deserve me.

2009-05-13T01:34:00.002+08:00

tired!!!!

woke up at 8am..
10am: cfe course
1230pm: lunch appt at bukit merah
2pm: office
330pm: northpoint roadshow
730pm: appt at gek poh
11pm: meet client at hougang

driving around the island is tiring!

2009-05-10T14:43:00.001+08:00

i miss..

2009-05-08T01:25:00.001+08:00

extremelyhurt.

2009-05-06T14:53:00.001+08:00

6th.
3y4m.

2009-05-03T02:04:00.004+08:00

been out these few days =)

went acid bar and this angmo pub in somerset with saggyarse on wed..
damn happening man the angmo pub..
everyone was like going up the stage dancing..
and the band was fantastic!

thur night was wala with colleagues..
shitty bitch was feeling down..
so got some of the others to come join us for some drinks..
shared lotsa stuff about relationships issues..

spent fri night in shitty bitch's room..

spent the saturday afternoon in sentosa tanning =)
love everything except the water =(
freakingly scary!
settlers cafe and chilling out by the singapore river after that..

.
.
.
everything's fine when i'm out with colleagues playing and having fun..
but reality sets in at night when i'm all alone in the room...
emo.

2009-04-28T00:31:00.001+08:00

thanks for hurting me.
i probably deserve it..

mistakes made.
lessons learnt.

regrets.
but its all too late.

2009-04-18T11:30:00.001+08:00

This is like quicksand. and I'm struggling to escape from it.
it takes tremendous effort to just take one step out. but before I could realise.. I get sucked in again by all these crazy emotions and memories of the past..
when will all this ever end? when will I ever step out of this....

and you could just stand at the side looking at me struggle..and not feel a single thing...

2009-04-14T23:40:00.001+08:00

put an end..
to self-torture.
to self-inflicted pain.

2009-04-14T01:11:00.001+08:00

i cant believe myself..
and i cant stand myself being like that..

2009-04-13T00:38:00.001+08:00

struggling.
with heartlessness.
and with karma.

2009-04-11T01:23:00.000+08:00

saggyarse asked:

do you think it is possible to love someone yet still love the person you used to love? or do you think that that's just being greedy? or do you think that maybe one is the real love and the other isn't and if so, how do we differentiate between the two or filter out the real love from the sediments?

=)

2009-04-11T01:14:00.002+08:00

the one strength of sagittarius is that we get over issues pretty fast =)

contradictorily..

the one weakness of women is that we hold memories too close to our hearts..

but oh well..
i am moving on..
=)

2009-04-10T02:27:00.001+08:00

i still do update my private blog btw.

2009-04-09T20:28:00.005+08:00

office
kk hospital
starbucks at ecp
=)

***

lost.
not knowing also where life is leading me to.
what will i be in 10years time?
whose arms will i be lying in?
what car will i drive?
how will i look like?
life is full of surprises.

2009-04-08T12:26:00.001+08:00

Thanks for being heartless

2009-04-08T01:26:00.000+08:00

Don't give up on us, Baby
Don't make the wrong seem right
The future isn't just one night
It's written in the moonlight
And painted on the stars
We can't change ours

Don't give up on us, Baby
We're still worth one more try
I know we put a last one by
Just for a rainy evening
When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

I really lost my head last night
You've got a right to start believing
There's still a little love left, even so

Don't give up on us, Baby
Lord knows we've come this far
Can't we stay the way we are?
The angel and the dreamer
Who sometimes play a fool
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

I really lost my head last night
You've got a right to stop believing
There's still a little love left, even so

Just for a rainy evening
When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

Don't give up on us, Baby
Don't give up on us, Baby

2009-04-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

tea cafe is extremely pretty!
went to this cafe at seah street with the girls..
will upload the pics soon..
it really is one of the nicest cafe i've been to..
=)

went for roadshow after that..
tired.
=(

2009-04-01T14:29:00.003+08:00

girls. shopping.
=)

office. ecp. beach strolls. booze.
=)
SnMoS
EnXoP
=(

2009-03-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

i detest.

2009-03-29T17:15:00.003+08:00

i think my life is less messed up compared to 99% of the world's population..
but still..i hate all these emotional turmoil..
am going to put an end to all these..
erase every single thing..
and start afresh =)

*image of me driving white beetle with a bright yellow gerbera on the dashboard appeared in my mind =D*

oops!
just asked mama to help cook maggi mee for me..
spoilt!
haha..but once in awhile only la..not always like that one la..
hahahaha..

gonna make hell lotsa calls tonight!!!
=D

2009-03-27T01:42:00.001+08:00

and the emptiness sets in again....

met a cute guy ;)

2009-03-24T00:41:00.005+08:00

random post:

i really really want my beetle by end of this year!!!
hmmm..

been going for appointments and keeping myself busy this few days..
and i'm beginning to love my job even more =)

i miss my old self somehow..
i miss the good old times..
when life is all about mugging and nothing else..

have been staying up late..
just dont feel like sleeping early..
the eyebags under my eyes are getting from bad to worse..
even the 24k bioessence thing doesnt help..
even my concealer doesnt conceal them anymore..
=(

wm..

i really want a beetle.

*melts*

2009-03-15T00:24:00.000+08:00

this is crazy shit.

2009-03-07T03:19:00.001+08:00

slipping in to depression mode.

2009-03-07T02:22:00.001+08:00

read through my past blog entries..
brought back alot of memories..
the sweet and the bitter ones..
guess i was a much happier person then....
go ahead and read them..
tell me if i'm right..

2009-03-05T01:29:00.002+08:00

you know..
i used to really really really love to play those kinda books when i was a kid..
whereby you have to pretend you're the main character in the story..
and you have to make decisions for that guy..
and it goes something like "to enter the cave, turn to page 18".
i liked that its full of surprises..
every step you take can lead to very different endings.

but now.
i think i'm totally screwing up my life.
making the wrong decisions time and time again.
getting stuck in the worst kinda situations all the time.
my life is full of regrets.

and the worst thing is..
i cant restart my life like how i could restart the book game.

i dont like how things are like now.
i dont like how i'm feeling now.
i dont like it at all.

and i wonder when will all these end.

2009-03-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

i think i miss you.

2009-03-04T13:08:00.000+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Looked down on
Death
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

kop-ed from gill's blog..

quite true actually..

the fear of losing someone..

hmm.....

2009-03-01T12:20:00.002+08:00

this sudden emptiness in me.
which i dont know what to fill it up with.

this sudden feeling of lostness and aimlessness.

seeingnomeaninginlife.

2009-02-25T15:41:00.000+08:00

facing a major crisis now.
i wonder how are things going to move on from here.

2009-02-19T01:21:00.001+08:00

what am i supposed to do?

pessimism.

i really have this urge to put an end to everything.

2009-02-08T14:01:00.003+08:00

went to town yesterday with dd!!
havent been there for aaaaages man!

and we coincidentally wear the exact same shade of red out.
haha..

i dont know if anyone agrees with me..
but there's like this over population of pretty girls.
what ever happened to all the cute guys?!?!

oh he bought me like this entire set of issey miyake stuff!
shower gel, body lotion, body cream and perfume!
i'm gonna smell like super nice from now on!
hahaha!

and this sudden thing about fred perry.
haha =)

have been trying to meet prospects every single night..
really really hope to get my beetle by this year =P

2009-02-07T14:23:00.002+08:00

moving on the chapter 2.
am still full of doubts about this relationship.

all i wanted is just a happy relationship.
could never understand why is that so difficult.

with regards to the previous post.
it turns out that i wasnt the only one who felt this way.
common friends have commented that he'd changed as well.
and common friends were disappointed in this change in him as well.

2009-01-29T13:06:00.003+08:00

you rejected me.
with harsh words.
with such straightforwardness.

but now you twisted the story.
and tell her a total different thing.

what exactly was your intention?
to pretend like you're still the mr nice guy?
to make yourself not look like the bad guy here?

whatever it is..
it disgust me.

what shocked me wasnt the fact that you changed.
well, people do change.
neither was is that you'd rejected me.
but what shock me is how you are like now.

whatever happened to the mr nice guy i fell for?
the one who is unpretentious, soft-hearted,
sincere and truthful to everyone around you.

even if it is that because you're wooing the girl..
you didnt used to be like that..
pretentious, hypocritical.

such a turn off.

2009-01-28T12:47:00.005+08:00

i put down my pride and ego in hope for a chance.
but was rejected outrightly.

sad but oh wells..
cry already then move on lo.
life still goes on anyway..

things can only get better right?
=)

cny this year was just like any other years..
just that i have a bunch of kickass colleagues to spend the days with..haha..

day 1 went dad's side ah ma's house.
went home for awhile and drove down to boss's house for a birthday surprise..
he was lk damn pissed that nobody rmb his birthday! haha!
we sneaked into his house and...SURPRISE!!
and we got him the darnest looking cake! hhhahaha!!

day 2 went mum's side ah ma's house.
then went minds cafe with the colleagues =)
although i didnt have an exactly enjoyable sms conversation with someone,
but these people never fail to make me laugh =)
chatted on phone with D till 4+..
laugh until i stomachache LOL!!

going to boss's house to bai nian later..
gonna make like hell lota winnings!!
my theory is: life is fair. if you're unlucky in certain aspects of your life. then you'd be lucky in the other aspects!
=)

thank you all for being around and listening to me bitch.
love you all! =)

2009-01-27T03:22:00.001+08:00

my heart aches...

2009-01-25T18:28:00.006+08:00

i kinda like sitting by the beach at east coast park at night whenever i'm feeling down.
the sea breeze seems to make me feel so much better.

and i'm grateful that i've got really great friends by my side during this period.
especially this other colleague D who have been accompanying me almost every night..
even bothered to talk to me on the phone at night..
i really am glad..
without him and all my friends..
i would not have survived through.
=)

D brought his puppy out and happened to passed by my house..
gave me a call and ask if i wanna play with the puppy..
hee!

cute right??
i'd want a dog next time when i live on my own in the future..
mama's scared of dogs..
hee..
i think they're really great company!
and not to mention super nice to cuddle!
haha...

2009-01-25T18:17:00.005+08:00

*Right Click and Open in New Window for Song*

忽然一场阵雨
世界缩为屋檐
你熟悉的侧脸
回头就在眼前
一分神丢了手里烟
坠落了燃烧的岁月
让画面再接回从前
省略了昨天的昨天

后来的你好吗
有比较快乐吗
我应该高兴吧
却又说不上话
雨打湿你右边的肩
泪滑过我左边的脸
这就是唯一的关联
当爱是仓促的句点

你曾是我吻过我爱过也伤过
拥有过却错过的情人
这样太残忍
你现在总是刻意保持陌生
你吻过你爱过也恨过
拥抱过却犯错的情人
我不能过问
没权利再问他是否对的人

后来的你好吗
有比较快乐吗
我应该高兴吧
却又说不上话
我们是两条平行线
再没有任何交叉点
只留下心酸的感觉
当爱是仓促的句点

你曾是我吻过我爱过也伤过
拥有过却错过的情人
这样太残忍
你现在总是刻意保持陌生
你吻过你爱过也恨过
拥抱过却犯错的情人
我不能过问
没权利再问他是怎样的人
(x2)

非要等到爱远走
分两头
才知道多不舍你走
留在午夜梦会醉
掏了心
伤心对自己说

非要等到爱远走
分两头
才知道谁都怕寂寞
一直有句话要说
你是我今生今世的守候

你曾是我吻过我爱过也伤过
拥有过却错过的情人
这样太残忍
你现在总是刻意保持陌生
你吻过你爱过也恨过
拥抱过却犯错的情人
我不能过问

是我先转身爱上了错的人
恋上一个人